Sweet Things

This picture is not the most flattering of my son and it does not reflect my diligent efforts as a mother, but I thought it was hilarious to see how out of control I had let his side burns get.

Millie is so sweet. She sleeps on us very well and seems to really enjoy the closeness.

It has been so fun to see Joe grow into his role as father to both boy and girl. It really makes me love him even more.


This picture is what I really wanted to write about in my post. Saturday morning we had an appointment with a friend for a photo shoot for Millie's birth announcements. The whole family was invited so we could be in different pictures with Millie. Joe had committed to help a family move so he was out of the house and for the first time I had to get myself and my two kids ready to go somewhere AND look good enough to be in pictures. While Joseph ate breakfast I cleaned and packed diaper bags and then I needed to buy some time for a shower. At that moment he started pleading for the salt shaker. I thought, "What harm can be done? He'll be happy with the salt shaker in his high chair for a few minutes while I get my shower." When I came back he had completely emptied the salt onto his tray and because he had been sampling it as he went his lips were completely puckered the way they do when you have been swimming in the ocean for way too long. It was hilarious.

Happy Mother's Day

I love being a mother. Recently I had my second child, Millie. She is just over two weeks old and is an absolute angel. She has long slender fingers, long slender feet, blue eyes, a sweet little rosebud mouth, a perfect little chin and nose. She was born with thick dark hair (which I am sure she is already losing) and chubby cheeks. It has been so fun to be a mother to both a little boy and a sweet baby girl. Despite the angelic nature of my daughter and the amazing energy and exuberance of my son I have days of less than perfect warm fuzzy feelings. I know it is all part of life- we have to take the good with the bad. After over two weeks of staying home with the babies and trying to find fullfillment in nursing every 2 hours, 1 hour, or every hour and a half, and squeezing in a load of laundry or a sink full of dishes or letting my son work out some energy jumping on the bed, yesterday I was feeling a little bit not like myself. I am sure my hormones are trying to work themselves out as well, and after spending half the morning crying at any silly thing my husband sent me shopping. I only had two hours to make my mood right but somehow it was enough. The mall was incredibly busy with what seemed like every family in town. The thought occured to me that for mother's day most moms would probably not mind taking the whole family shopping if dad comes along. I was there alone and I appreciated that fact as I tried on gobs and gobs of clothing that still does not fit this body. But seeing other families out and about trying to keep all it's members happy made me miss my little family and even the craziness that they inspire. The other night I was up with Millie and trying to help her go back to sleep despite her tummy ache. I had been feeling tired and grumpy and frustrated that we were having such a rough night. I looked out our window and saw the moon in the sky and for some reason it brought peace to my heart and all I felt was gratitude to a Heavenly Father who would give me this child, even a child who would keep me up at night. I was grateful. Within minutes Millie had worked up her tummy ache and was fast asleep in my arms. I guess what I am trying to say is I am learning that motherhood is wonderful and beautiful and can drive you absolutely insane. During the insane moments it is good to remind myself , "Look you are doing it! You are doing it well! Keep going- keep working- they are turning out okay!"
On this Mother's Day I am extremely grateful to be a mom. When I came home from shopping yesterday all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and nurse my baby as my son ran around the room and jumped from the couch to the floor. I felt real happiness as I looked around and realized that these were my children and that this was my life. What greater Mother's Day gift could I receive? So to all you mothers out there- look you are doing it- you are doing it well- keep it up!

Spreading the Love

This post is dedicated to Lillie Kelani Biesinger- my little sister and the motivator behind my blog (among other things), as today is her 26th birthday. She has done such an amazing job at spreading love to so many people both through her birthday dedications and her frequent posts, I thought it only fair to dedicate this post to her. Lillie, I'm just going to write directly to you because you are probably the only one who still checks to see if I'm writing.

You are full of life and vibrance that only gets brighter with age. Most people who know you look up to you and I think it is because of your insistence on ignoring the negative and focusing on the positive. You say you have a problem with negativity but the reality is that you let it slide off your back a lot easier and, viola, you are happy and positive again. It really is an attractive trait. You are fun and vivacious and you have always been "the funny and clever one". You are one of those people who really could do anything that you put your mind to and deep down inside you know that this is true. You have always let me feel like I was taking care of you as your big sister but in reality you have carried me through my frequent emotional breakdowns. Your slight deficiencies only make you more endering (like sharing a room with you in college and not being able to step inside without wading through piles of clothes, dirty and clean). I can't remember a time when you didn't think you were fat while simultaneously knowing how beautiful you really are. Growing up with you I appreciated our differences but I was always flattered when people got us confused as the same person. I have loved going through adult life with you thus far, even though it is across country. You help me laugh at my mistakes and minor crises but you also know just how to acknowledge my feelings.

Gosh, this is hard to do. You've earned even more respect as these kinds of posts are not easy to write. Anyway, I love you Lil. I don't think I could ask for a better friend. I hope you had a wonderful birthday- and good luck with pregnancy number two.